Friday, 19 December 2014

Other Side Tales - The Second Turn



Suzy Adams was excited. It was one day before her birthday and she was turning sixteen.
Now no longer a child or a teenager, she would be an adult, well at least in her mind.
Her father had promised her something special, something that every member of his family had been given on their sixteenth he had said, though Suzy was a little unsure. Her father had seemed a little preoccupied lately; well more than usual.
He was a strange man, all the other kids at school said so, none of their father’s had trained their daughters how to use a knife or how to watch the people around them.
He was her father though and he still made time to check that each morning she carried the knife he had given her on her fourteenth birthday and that she watched what went on around here and made sure she had her lunch and hugged her.
But recently he had told her to keep an eye out for anything strange.
She had asked what he had meant by 'strange.'
"Just unusual, girl. Things that don't belong or seem too weird for you," he had said in his gruff manner.
He often called her girl when he was trying to not sound serious even though he was. So she kept an eye out for anything ‘strange.’
So far all she had seen was Mr Johnson carrying a large sack into his cellar one afternoon when she had been walking home from school. He had dropped the sack waving at Suzy with a smile. She had waved back and told her father what she had seen when she got home. Mr Johnson had moved away two days later, something about a sick mother, or so people had said.
Ever since the strange man had tried to take her and the others away on her thirteenth birthday Suzy's father had been training her to keep an eye out, to watch those around her.
She still had the bone flute she had taken from the piper man all those years ago, it was in a small box she kept under her bed along with a few other items she had found. Like a red feather three inches in length, no birds in her neighborhood had such feathers or the twisted stone that never quite looked right.

It was after a long day at school where they taught, to Suzy, unimportant things which she learnt anyway that she finally walked up the steps to her front porch. The bus always stopped too far away from her home so she had to walk five extra blocks every day. Suzy did not mind though , the walk let her think and now it let her watch for strange things. Also Suzy liked the exercise.
Suzy stepped into the front hall and shrugged off her coat hanging it up behind the door, winter was on its way and the afternoons had become cold. Her father had not yet returned home so Suzy walked to the refrigerator and took out a carton of milk, as she poured herself a glass she looked at the post on the table.
One envelope caught her eye, it had the crest of the Raven Home Mental Institute.  Only her mother sent mail from there.
She had been locked up ever since Suzy had turned three. Her father never spoke about Suzy's mother or why she was at the mental institute, or the nut bin as her friend Jessi called it.
Suzy smiled as she heard her friend's voice saying nut bin. Suzy opened the letter and read a surprisingly lucid account saying how proud her mother was of Suzy's upcoming sixteenth birthday. It went on a little about rather normal things when the last paragraph caught Suzy’s eye.

Beware the Jabberwocky, my girl.
The jaws that bite, the hands that grab

This made Suzy pause, why would her mother include an old Through the Looking Glass poem, and it was not even correct.
Well she is in a nut bin thought Suzy to herself, and put the letter down.
As she finished the glass of milk she heard her father's truck pull up into the driveway. She ran out to greet him and help him unpack. The rest of the night passed by rather uneventfully and Suzy said goodnight to her father at 9:30, she had a big day the next day and wanted to be up early. Thirty minutes the fifteen year old Suzy Adams lay her head down and fell asleep.

Suzy sat bolt upright in her bed, something had awoken her. She sat in the dark listening to the house around her but all she heard was the crickets outside and the murmur of the downstairs TV. So she lay back down and closed her eyes thinking that it must have been a bad dream when she remembered her father saying always listen to your instincts, girl. Listen to what they say before making up your mind.
Her instincts had woken her so Suzy breathed in deeply, calming the chattering in her mind and really listened. What she heard first was the TV or what she thought had been the TV.
Her father's voice floated up quietly along with another voice. She had never heard a voice like this before, it hissed and burbled as it spoke.
Suzy climbed out of her bed and grabbed her knife from next to the bed and held it tightly in her fist. She creaked open her bedroom door and listened again, the voices were clearer now.
"She was never part of the deal," this was her father's voice.
"I've decided to change the deal," the other voice hissed.
Silence followed the remark and Suzy crept forward to peer over the stairway banister. She could see a light coming from the TV room but not either of the speakers so she quietly made her way down the stairs making sure to avoid all the creaking floorboards. After a few minutes of creeping in which the conversation had restarted, though Suzy had missed most of it due to her concentrating on the boards underfoot, she stepped noiselessly onto the ground floor.
As she walked past the old clock in the hallway she glanced at the time, it was 11:30.
Who could be visiting so late, wondered Suzy to herself as she peered around the corner into the TV room.
There she saw her father, still dressed in his work clothes and a stranger.
Not a stranger, someone strange said Suzy to herself as she looked and watched the stranger.
It was a tall man with short black hair wearing a suit but no tie which surprised Suzy. In her town suits and ties went together like Halloween and costumes, not open collared shirts, fancy jackets with handkerchiefs sticking out of the pocket.
Her mind made up Suzy took a quick breath and walked into the TV room.
"Dad?" Suzy asked with a yawn, "What's going on?"
The two men stopped talking as the teenager walked in and Suzy's father said "Nothing girl, go back to bed."
Before Suzy could answer the man said "Is this your daughter Jack? My she has grown."
"Yes well, she has a big day tomorrow and should…"
"Ah yes, her big day," said the man and turned to Suzy, "It's your birthday, isn't it Suzy?"
Suzy nodded and did not answer as the man pulled something from his pocket, "I have a gift for you."
It was a silver ring with two small yellow stones, which to Suzy looked like eyes, "Sorry but I can't take such an expensive gift."
"You heard the girl, now I…" her father started to say when the man looked at Jack and his mouth shut with an audible snap.
"You know the rules, Jack. No interfering."
Suzy looked at her father who simply looked at her then at the ring unable to say anything.
"Go on, don't worry about the price, I managed to get it for cheap," said the man smoothly.
Suzy's hand slowly lifted to take the ring, out the corner of her eye she saw her father shaking with anger.
If you see something strange…
"Sorry but no thank you. It is a lovely gift but not for me," said Suzy after a minute of silence.
The man glared at the teenager and growled "Take it you little bitch, or your father will suffer for it."
Suzy looked at the man in fear and extended her trembling hand unable to take her eyes off the man's. They were black, not dark like she had originally thought but pitch black. As her hand stopped above the ring she took a step forward and stabbed her switch blade into the man's leg.
He roared with anger and threw the ring to one side, Suzy darted back and her father picked her up in his arms as he dashed out into the hallway.
"Clever girl, foolish but clever… now listen go to my room and get the box under my bed,"
"But," Suzy started to say.
"Just go, we don't have time. Now run!"
Her father pushed Suzy in the direction of the stairs and took a walking stick next to the old clock, while the fifteen year old ran up the stairs into his room. She heard shouts and growls, the strange voice she had first heard was back and now it was angry.
"I'll have that little bitch, Jack! She can't escape me!" it hissed.
In that instant her mother's letter flashed through her mind:
Beware the Jabberwocky

Suzy burst into her gather's room and fumbled under the bed and dragged a large black wooden box from it. She turned to run downstairs when she realised it was quiet, very quiet.
Clutching the box Suzy stumbled downstairs suddenly afraid of what she would find.
She dashed into the room and stopped.
Her father hung in the air in front of her, simply floating there. The stranger sat on one of the chairs bleeding from a wound in his expensive jacket, the blood soaking the chair, next to him a slim sword lay broken on the ground. It had been inside the walking stick.
Suzy did not look at the blood, she only saw her father in the air.
"Now … be a good girl and give me the box," hissed the man in the strange voice.
Numbly Suzy looked at the man and held the black box tighter, the man clenched his fist and her father groaned in pain.
"Give me the box or your father suffers," growled the man.
Suzy opened the box and looked inside, after a few seconds she looked up at the strange man and said “I think I understand now.”
With that she took out an object from the box and let it fall to the ground, items scattering all over the floor. In her small hand Suzy held a large metal sliver that looked like it had been broken from a bigger metal item.
The man drew back in anger and fright, it was the sliver of an ancient weapon that had hurt him ages ago.
Suzy flung herself at the man as her father dropped to the ground hard, the stranger’s magic released. The teenager clawed with the sliver at the man’s face as he reared up from the chair. It only managed to slice into his stomach as he stood.
To Suzy’s horror the man roared in pain as the wound started to smoke. Swatting at the teenager with a backhand the man sent Suzy crashing back into the hall. Suzy fought back her tears and the blackness at the corner of her eyes as she hit the wall and crumpled to the ground.
Get up! Get up! He’s coming! her mind screamed at her, she tried to get her hands underneath her. But the blow had been too strong for the teenager and she was too groggy.
A shadow appeared above her.
The man stood glaring at the girl, his eyes were now completely black, not an inch of white showed around the iris. Suzy raised her head defiantly to look at the man as he reared, back arched. He spat and roared in an infernal voice.
I’m dead, said Suzy to herself and tried look her killer in the eye but he whipped around and smashed a hand into her father who had stabbed him from behind with the metal sliver. Jack went flying the length of the room to hit the fireplace on the other end, the stone breaking around his body.
The man continued to roar out as smoke streamed from his entire body. The infernal voice soon stopped hissing and a man’s voice croaked out in agony as the stranger fell into a heap on the floor and died.
It was many minutes before Suzy could get up without her vision almost blacking out from pain. But in the end she levered herself to her feet and limped to where her father lay crumpled.
“Suzy?” he whispered as she touched him.
“I’m here Dad,” she said, keeping the sob from her voice.
“Help me up,” Jack said softly.
Suzy helped her father into a sitting position as he said, “I need you to do one more thing.”
The teenager looked at her father as in the distance sirens sounded at the approaching police, a neighbour had heard the commotion in the end.
“In the box was a bead bracelet… get it,” whispered her father.
His voice scared Suzy as she limped back to where the box had fallen, she had never heard him speak so softly before, so weakly. Suzy sniffed as she looked around where the box had fallen trying not to cry as she looked under the chair where the man had sat, trying to ignore the blood.
There lay a bracelet made from dark red and black beads, it looked like a Buddhist prayer bead. She scooped it up and hurried over to her father, kneeling next to him.
“Dad? … Dad, I have it.”
“Huhn?” said her father as he fought the rising darkness.
He put his hand over hers and said “This is for your birthday. You’re no longer a little girl.”
Suzy glanced at the clock on the TV room wall, her father was correct. The time was 12:15, she was now sixteen.
“I’m proud of you my girl,” her father whispered, “You did good back there… I’m … so…”
“Dad?” said Suzy quietly, “Daddy?”
Her father was dead.
Suzy started crying then unable to keep the tears back any longer, “Daddy? … Please?”
Her voice cracked as she sobbed and hugged her father for the last time.

A few minutes later two policemen burst through the door and stopped. They had not expected to see a dead man, his eyes wide open and with a look of sheer terror stamped on his face or a sixteen year old girl cradling her father’s dead body.
“Dispatch, we need ambulances here immediately, this one’s bad,” one of the patrolmen said into his walkie-talkie holstering his gun. His partner approached the crying girl who did not even acknowledge is existence.
Suzy Adams had reached sixteen, no longer a child but an adult. All she wished for was her father to still be alive.  

Monday, 8 December 2014

They Know ...



Recently I bought Amanda Palmer's "The Art of Asking" - at this juncture I am half way through and am compelled to write about what she terms "The Fraud Police".

If you do not know the Fraud Police, this force is described in Amanda Palmer's own words as:
                "the fraud police are this imaginary, terrifying force of experts and real grown-ups who don't  exist and who come knocking on your door at 3am when you least expect it, saying "fraud    police. we've been watching you and we have evidence that you have no idea what you are doing. and you stand accused of the crime of completely making shit up as you go along. you do not actually deserve your job and we're taking everything away. and we're telling  everybody."

(Thank you to http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=18041.0 for the transcript of Amanda Palmer's commencement speech at the New England Institute of Art)

And that thought is rather a frightening one, I mean as a Creative you put bits and pieces of yourself out there for people to see and then feel as if you are pulling a fast one on everyone that reads / watches / paints / makes music etc. And that one day (as she describes) people are going to kick down your door and say "Your nicked chum" (to borrow some England slang) and from there you will have to go get a normal job.

I guess therein lies one of the frightening aspects of the Fraud Police, becoming normal. In this world today normal equals taxes and a wife and two point five children and the white picket fence home and death (though unlike taxes death only arrives once); not that there is anything wrong with a normal life except that it equates death. The death of dreams, ideas and wonder. Now is the time to put away the childish things and become an ADULT. No longer can you make music up at 2:00AM, no longer can you paint a dream you had, no longer can you write that story whose characters will not shut up in your head. Now you become an accountant, a real estate agent, an insurance salesman.

Another frightening aspect is that yes you are making shit up as you go. You have no clue, no fucking clue as to what you are doing.
At.
All.
And that is scary, stumbling in the dark hoping someone will see what you do is good or real or there. As Amanda says in her book "Believe me" - believe in what I say or write or do.

This creativity things is difficult, often I am defeated by fatigue, by fear or by simple procrastination. Yet other times I fly and enter what Jason Silva has spoken about on his Youtube channel "Shots of Awe" (Yes shameless plugging of stuff in this here post) the Flow State. And when you enter that it is something else. And often that makes up for so much of the fear and issues you face.
(See Jason's channel at: www.youtube.com/user/ShotsOfAwe )

I have and do still work a "normal job" and sometimes I feel as if I am dying my centimeters, yet I still fear the idea of putting myself out into the world for people to see to say "We don't see you, so just get out. Just go."

In the end I do not know if this is read or not, what I do know is I have a need to write, to get stories and characters out there. Otherwise they wilt and die inside me. And that is something I do not think I would be able to handle. 

Oh and as a second thought buy yourself her book (second shameless plug, I know) it is worth it not just as an artist or creative but as a person.